Our PDR Posse member, Thomas Czarnik releases a new set of political limericks. It comes just at the right time in our politics.
Political Limericks by Thomas Czarnik
POLITICAL LIMERICKS tjczarnik There once was a VP named Pence His demeanor described as quite tense His life was most grim Wouldn’t want to be him With my butt perched in pain on a fence. There once was a VP named Pence Had to put up with lots of nonsense From behind Donald Trump He kissed an orange rump Was nearly hanged for a Cap’tol Offence. There was a President named Trump Who needed to take a big dump He’d sit on his shitter He’d tweet and he’d twitter His best work came out of his rump. There are many who follow a guy named Q Think whatever he says is quite true They believe every word Though it might be absurd A better response to B.S. is "P.U."! A GOP Rep named Matt Gaetz Has a forehead as high as two milk crates His excuses are bafflin’ For drugs and sex traffickin’: “I’m white, rich and have lots of hot dates.” Two cronies named Manchin and Sinema Of Arizona and West Vir-gin-eeah With heads up their ass No laws can get passed It seems like they both need an enema. There once was a Russian named Putin Instead of talk he preferred to be shootin’ Started a war in Ukraine Proof he’s much more insane Than that lunatic known as Rasputin. A senator by name of Hawley Gives speeches all bluster and folly Of BS he's full In Congress pit bull But from danger runs off like a collie. A doctor whose first name is Rand Thinks his personal prescriptions quite grand But if you need a house call Don't call this quack Paul ‘Cause snake oil in a bottle’s his brand. There was a candidate named OZ Who'd say anything just for applause Hoped for a bump From his best bud Trump The man behind curtain Says a Senate seat certain If you believe both in me and in Santa Claus. There once was a senator named Cruz Who seems always to be in the news He sits on a fence Between sense and nonsense Texas Ted must have several loose screws. There is a Fox airhead named Sean Who as sure as night comes before dawn Lacks even a hint of humanity “I’m King of the News” thinks Hannity But to Trump he is simply a pawn. To 45 William Barr was a star No one was more loyal by far But when a judge said he lied Barr had no place to hide His hand caught in Trump's cookie jar. Those who substitute facts with illusion Tell lies and sow seeds of confusion Anti-maskers Anti-vaxxers Spread deadly disease and delusion. Two GOP Reps named Boebert and Greene Make speeches in Congress intolerant and mean Bible thumpers so avid Donald Trumpers so rabid Guns and violence promoters both sick and obscene. An inquisitive pundit named Tucker Must think every Fox fan a sucker His facial attentive frown Is an anal retentive crown On a king who’s a smug mother f**ker. Trumpsters take truth-tellers to task Give leaders like Liz Cheney the ax She calls Trump a traitor And that's why they hate her They prefer the Big Lie to the facts. We go to the pump for gasoline Find prices higher than ever seen While all the nation Suffers inflation Oil Oligopoly makes profits obscene. At Mar-a-Lago were hidden in many a box Government files and classified docs Most keep wondering why Even the DOJ and FBI But not Trump's base or the people at Fox. Her name is Marjorie Taylor Greene Of Radical Reps she might be the queen Loves men that are macho But hates the gazpacho And a peach tree dish for Bill Gates’ cuisine. Hundreds of classified docs the ex-Pres took Some say Trump's nothing but a common crook Guilty of sedition or treason? Maybe Memoirs the real reason "Art of the Steal" to be a coloring book! On January 6th we nearly lost our Democracy To the Forces of Evil and Autocracy Those who believe the Big Lie A free and fair election deny Are guilty of deception and hypocrisy. A UK queen named Liz As monarch was quite the Wiz When she died twas sheer luck For first son named Chuck The crown once hers was now His. A most dangerous man named Pompeo Wants politicians in schools to say No To honest teachers just teaching Rather have them all preaching With biased brains like Mike’s made of Play-Dough. In Georgia Warnock wins over Walker It was the Thinker over the Talker Running right Herschel stumbled On the final yard he fumbled Turns out Trump's a terrible blocker George Santos claims he's Jew-ish Cause he loves bagels knish and Yiddish Says he not a fraud, not a liar Just a GOP Rep with pants on fire From a red district that once was bluish. A GOP Rep claims he's quite Jew-ish Gets elected in a district once bluish When the press found his facts all fraud Santos said they instead should applaud 'Cause every bit of my bio's quite true-ish. Greg Abbott the cruel governor of Texas Does to Dems what he thinks will wreck us When poor migrants he sees To DC sends 'em to freeze While sitting warm and smug in his Lexus. A GOP Rep in Congress named Kevin Being House Speaker to him would be Heaven Other plans had the Freedom Caucus They're riotous, they're raucous They don't give a sh*t Wish McCarthy would quit To go manage a 7-11. So Kevin M finally became Speaker But as a leader no one could be weaker Though now Big Cheese of the House He's less a man than a Mouse Who eked out victory in a Squeaker. On a program called Politics Done Right Whether you're moderate far left or far right Egberto Willies will greet you Always happy to meet you On his show honest insights shine bright.